I am waiting

TT is due any day now, so we are waiting.

'the girl did not know what to do now - oh yes, she thought, I am doing something, I am waiting; but reason told her that waiting is not a thing to do. A wait is something being done to you. She thought of her mother in the railway station, but in that case the train had gone: you do not wait for what has already happened.' Elizabeth Bowen A World of Love

waiting

Enjoying the wait, but waiting.

The Month of May

May started with glorious blue skies, blossom appearing on the apple tree in our garden, green shoots appearing everywhere, wearing shoes without socks.
Painted toe nails - one of the advantages of being 30+ weeks pregnant is that I have to have a pedicure, there is no way I can reach my toes to paint them!
A delightful christening of godchild number six and catching up with dear friends.
Mother and Pops coming up for the day. First time cooking summer food, pottering in the garden together and enjoying the sunshine.
My last week at work before maternity leave - all happening at just the right time. The final day, cards from different classes and being sung to by the different classes in my team. Receiving some lovely gifts, including a nappy cake and then to Canary Wharf for pizza. Home very tired.
Off to Twin and the Blessings for a lovely day. A BBQ in the garden and practising putting on a baby sling with a doll.
Cooking Warmth the meal I cooked on the weekend we became engaged as a celebration for first day of maternity leave.
Mother and Pops coming up for what should have been a day of gardening, but the persistent rain meant we sorted out the linen for TT.
Meeting up with a dear friend for lunch at Peter Jones and then on to try to get ahead by buying cards and gifts for all the summer birthdays.
Days having a gentle rhythm of reading, eating, napping, preparing for TT, pottering in the garden, doing small jobs.
A very belated birthday pamper day with Twin and Mother at Eastwell Manor. So lovely to have a facial, laze in the rest room, float in the deserted pool, have a foot massage, chat and catch up.
Off into town for friend's birthday meal at Bambou. I was determined to stay for supper and not just the drinks part. This will probably be the last time we go out on a Saturday night together with no babysitter.
Meeting up with new NCT friends for lunch at The Station, then after a brief afternoon nap out to Dalys Wine Bar to catch up with old friends.
A very wet day in Sloane Square, hoping to enjoy looking at Chelsea in Bloom shop windows, instead hiding in Patisserie Valerie with a dear friend and then hopping to The Saatchi Gallery and stumbling across Festival des Metiers a Hermes exhibition.
A final pre baby hair cut and lunch with Mama and Papa Warmth.
Good friends for a takeaway curry - we've finally found a good local takeaway Indian.
Pops' 70th birthday celebrations. Nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews, aunts and immediate family. Thirty in all and the sun shone so magnificently that we spent the whole day outside, suntan lotions necessary.
A lovely Bank Holiday Monday - eating supper outside. Then the next day it rained and rained...
Quickly, or as quickly as I move at the moment, popping to Lambs Conduit Street to Persephone to buy Twin's birthday gift and then deciding I did have time to pop in Ben Penreath, even though I was then late meeting up with dear old colleagues at our favourite restaurant The National Portrait Gallery Restaurant. Lovely to see the views of London in daylight.

Finally finished Restoration by Rose Tremain - quite unlike her other books I've read.  It was a long slow slog. Speeded through Cocktails under the tree of forgetfulness by Alexandra Fuller and The Rain before it Falls by Jonathon Coe. Baked this lemon drizzle cake for NCT ladies day, Hummingbird's Peanut butter and chocolate biscuits. A Ricotta and Lemon Cake, to use up left over ricotta, for Twin and Blessings.

The last day in May Twin and the blessings up and this also means the last month without a bundle of baby in our lives...

hoping soul

So, our due date is one calender month from today....

'The exact science of one molecule transformed into another - that Mabel could not explain, but then again she could not explain how a foetus formed in the womb, cells becoming beating heart and hoping soul.' Eowyn Ivey The snow child

hopingsoul

warm, eager, restless

Warmth very kindly bought me a Kindle, for my slightly sleepless nights, now and probably when the baby arrives. I'd thought that a Kindle with it's light would be a way for me to be able to find time to read. So far I'm downloading the free ones that I've already read, I'm sure I shall be tired so a re read maybe just right. Next one is Emma.

'That evening for the first time in his life, as he pressed through the swing door and descended the three broad steps to the pavement, old Mr. Neave felt he was too old for the spring. Spring - warm, eager, restless - was there, waiting for him in the golden light, ready in front of everybody to run up, to blow on his white beard, to drag sweetly on his arm. And he couldn't meet her, no; he couldn't square up once more and stride off, jaunty as a young man.' Katherine Mansfield An Ideal Family in The Garden Party.

spring

The Month of February

Warmth had the day off work to wait in for a new carpet to be laid. Now all we need for the front room is an over mantel mirror and some pictures.
The train to Canterbury to see Mother, a quiet and lovely weekend catching up and keeping warm.
Really enjoying going along to Pregnancy Pilates.
A quiet Friday evening mooching to the Tatty Devine shop to buy this and discovering it's in the online sale, wandering past MW Nails that I've read lots about, popping in on the off chance they had a space and having a lovely Friday night file and polish in their airport style salon. Still having time to pop to the MAC shop to buy a new eye shadow and then home. A very lovely Friday evening.
Meeting up with a dear friend to go to the Valentino exhibition at Somerset House followed by tea at Laduree. Perfect for a cold dreary Saturday.
Up early on Sunday as friends, with their four children, were coming to lunch and to very kindly drop off a whole load of baby bits and pieces.
A delicious Valentines Day meal cooked by Warmth of lamb shanks and chorizo.
Popping round to Mama and Papa Warmth expecting a cup of tea to be welcomed with afternoon tea of delicate sandwiches, scones, fruit loaf and lemon drizzle cake. Then off to meet Mother for a quick, and very light supper at Victoria, as she then went to meet Pops at the airport.
A wonderful family day on Sunday welcoming Pops back with a 'low key' turkey and trimmings. So lovely to see him, he to see bump, when he left three months ago there was nothing to see. Catching up on three months of our news and all he's experienced. Lovely to know that his stories will keep coming and being talked about.
Beginning the half term with my #bookswap delivery. I have so many wonderful books to read that I mustn't buy anymore.
Off to the Kings Road for a mooch and more importantly meet a dear friend for lunch, catch up and to learn more about babyhood at Pain Quotidian. It was almost like when we used to work together and would sometimes meet up there between visits.
Finally getting round to buying a food processor, so when I saw the latest Hummingbird Bakery book reduced in the shop it felt foolish to resist it.
Discovering a dainty patch of snowdrops, being able to hang out the washing and permanently having a vase of daffodils. Spring is coming and soon I'll be back out in the garden. I can't wait.
Then off to Poole Hotel du Vin for a few days rest. My it was cold. We wrapped up warm and the delicious soup at this deli warmed us. Gawping at the huge houses at Sandbanks, a brief and windy walk along the sandy shores, catching the chain ferry across the spit to Swanage for fish and chips, stopping off at a traditional sweet shop to buy iron rations for exploring Corfe Castle and each night being thankful that we were dining in the hotel's restaurant so we didn't need to venture out.
A lovely evening with Warmth's brother and wife at The Young Vic bar and supper at Ev.
Continuing with the Sunday bake, though the pear, raspberry and oat loaf was just too soggy, an apricot and marzipan loaf from The Great British Bake Off book and another lemon drizzle cake, with an extra lemon added for additional zing.
Reading The boy in striped pyjamas by John Boyne for my school course, finishing Diana Athill, Instead of a Book and really enjoying The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. Finishing off the month with The Parasites by Daphne du Maurier, one of my Mr B's Reading spa recommendations.

come what may

We're slowly gathering our thoughts on what we need for TT and as this increases, and my tummy it's all becoming more real. I'm very glad pregnancy is nine months.

'Lorna could not imagine this baby. The world is full of babies, but she had never much noticed them. In nine months time - no, less, there would be a baby that was of immediate personal relevance. Her baby, their baby. And she could not grasp the fact, she could not conjure up any baby. Her body was in a state of disorder: no monthly bleeding, swollen and tender nipples, she began to feel nausea. It was as though she had been taken over by an alien force, and was now headed in some unimaginable direction, programmed to bring this about, come what may.' Penelope Lively Consequences

baby

In Greenery Street

This isn't going to become a pregnancy/baby blog, however there are a few pregnancy quotes that I've collected and as this is in many ways an indirect document of my life occasionally they'll be posted.

'In Greenery Street, you see, we approach this matter of parenthood with a kind of fascinated reluctance. In a way the idea certainly attracts us, and though we resent its being put in that way, we have every intention of ultimately doing our duty by the State. But not just yet, if you see what we mean. For after something like quarter of a century when we have incessantly wanted it to be next week, we have suddenly reached a stage where all this impatience has left us. We want Time to stand still now; we have found what we have been looking for, and intuition tells us to avoid any experiment which will so inevitably start him off again. We have an impression, too, that everyone is watching us; that they are expecting us to have a baby, and that they won't leave us alone until we do. This puts our backs up. What  has it got to do, we ask, with anyone except ourselves? We know perfectly well what we're up to, and we're not going to be hustled by any amount of hints or questions.' Denis Mackail Greenery Street

love

The Month of January

Started with seeing more than just a few inches of blue in the sky. Hurrah! Perfect weather cold, crisp. dry and blue for a New Year walk. Off to Oxleas Woods we went.
Having a lovely impromptu meet with a great friend along the Kings Road. A little sales mooching and a long sit and catch up in Grocer on Kings.
A day trip to Bath to Mr B's Delightful Reading Emporium for my reading spa, but you've read all about that.
A leisurely wake up and breakfast with mother and then a mooch to Blackheath together before saying goodbye.
A slow weekend - the most venturing to the cinema to see The Life of Pi. I'm sure I didn't jump that much when reading the book.
Then back to school after a lovely and relaxing holiday.
Ohh it began to get colder...
A lovely catch up supper at Rocket, and giving of the last Christmas gift.
Off to Mama and Papa Warmth's for a family gathering to celebrate Papa Warmth's birthday. This also is the occasion of the annual 'Card of the year'. Where we look at every card and firstly vote for the best and then the worst. Left over Christmas food is nibbled, the last of the mince pies eaten and then we read a Christmas section from Diary of a Nobody.
Catching up with a dear friend and our usual pizza, the final receiving of a Christmas gift
Our engagement anniversary and a hospital appointment for our 20 week scan. So, if all continues well there will be a mini Warmth or Joan born in early June. All is well and we're getting most excited, and a little bigger...
Then the snow came... and our weekend in Cardiff to celebrate a good friend's 40th birthday was postponed. So a weekend of wrapping up warm, walking to the shop to buy food, making soup, baking, re watching multiple West Wing, napping on the sofa. In fact it felt a little like the days just after Christmas - lazy and full of food.
Mama and Papa Warmth for Friday night supper, crumble felt like the only pudding to eat this week.
Saturday blue skies - oh what a welcome return.
Off to good friends for the night. Chinese takeaway, a lasagne for lunch, laughter and catching up together.
Baking loaf cakes in the cold weather. This Lemon Drizzle Cake - my it was tangy and delicious. Straight from the oven it would make a perfect pudding, then if any left as cake, trying to find the perfect flapjack recipe - do you have one? Lady Grey Fruit Loaf as the snow silently fell and one from the Great British Bake Off book an apricot and marzipan fruit loaf.