Dearest, If you're reading this, these are for you...
'When loved ones die, you have to live on their behalf. See things as though with their eyes. Remember how they used to say things, and use those words oneself. Be thankful that you can do things that they cannot, and also feel the sadness of it.' Louis de Bernieres Captain Correlli's Mandolin
'When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose them all at once; you lose them in pieces over a long time - the way the mail stops coming, and their scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in their closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of them that are gone. Just when the day comes - when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that they're gone forever - there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.' John Irving A prayer for Owen Meany
All love to you and know that I am here x