These are the hands

As the bride stood with her father waiting to walk down the aisle on Saturday's wedding this was read.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that even wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Traditional Celtic Handfasting Ceremony

hands

Our greatest heart treasure

I'm still mulling on Someone at a distance. Would this passage fit in with Ellen's thoughts and beliefs?

'Our greatest heart treasure is a knowledge that there is in creation an individual to whom our existence is necessary - some one who is part of our life as we are part of theirs, some one in whose life we feel assured our death would leave a gap for a day or two. And who can this be but a husband or wife? Our parents have other children and themselves, our brothers and sisters marry and have lives apart, so with our friends; but ones husband would be different.' Miles Franklin My Brilliant Career

husband

And meanwhile

One of the lovely books I read this summer was A Favourite of the Gods by Sybille Bedford re published by Daunt Books.

'Anyhow who is this ideal husband of yours? Where is he?'

'He isn't an ideal husband, he is just a man I should be proud to marry.'

'Have you met him?'

'No. Not even in fiction. I have no idea what he'll be like. But I shall know when we meet.'

'That sounds like love.'

'So much is,' said Constanza.

'And meanwhile, darling, you had better take me.'

'Meanwhile,' she said, 'is for people who do not know when to wait.'

Sybille Bedford A Favourite of the Gods

fiction

Do you have a fictional character you'd like to love, be loved by and spend your life with?

he met her eyes

Whilst on holiday we celebrated our third wedding anniversary. 

'"Who has brought into unity those who were sundered, and hast ordained for them an indissoluble bond of love" - how profound these words are, and how well they correspond to what one feels at this moment' thought Levin. 'Does she feel the same as I do?'
And, turning, he met her eyes.
And by the look in those eyes he concluded that she understood it as he did...
...she had almost no understanding of the words of the service and did not even listen during the betrothal. She was unable to hear and understand them: so strong was the one feeling that filled her soul and was growing stronger and stronger. That feeling was the joy of the complete fulfilment...' Leo Tolstoy Anna Karenina

love

faded penciled notes

One of the books I've enjoyed having the time to read this holiday is Mrs Bridge. But oh my the ending. This passage has been me this week enjoying preparing for aunt Violet and my parents for lunch today and then friends for supper this evening.

"...she went to the cupboard where the old recipe books were stored.... Mrs Bridge began looking through them, seeing pencil notations in her own handwriting, scarcely legible anymore. Her husband liked more pepper in this, no bay leaves in that - whatever he wanted and whatever he did not like was expertly registered in the margins, and as she turned through these recipes she thought how strangely intimate the faded penciled notes remained; they brought back many scenes, many sweet and private memories; they brought back youth." Evan S. Connell Mrs Bridge

kitchen

My recipes books do have faded and splattered pencil notes in them, about who they've been cooked for, whether they were adapted, how they turned out. They do not have any comments about how Warmth likes his food though!

Verity and Ken

Dear Verity and Ken,
On this your wedding day,

A poem,

Hinterhof by James Fenton

Stay near to me and I'll stay near to you -
As near as you are dear to me will do,
Near as the rainbow to the rain,
The west wind to the window pane,
As fire to the hearth, as dawn to dew.

Stay true to me and I'll stay true to you -
As true as you are new to me will do,
New as the rainbow in the spray,
Utterly new in everyway,
New in the way that you say is true.

Stay near to me, stay true to me. I'll stay
As near, as true to you as heart could pray.
Heart never hoped that one might be
Half of the things you are to me -
The dawn, the fire, the rainbow and the day.

James Fenton

Flowers and books.


A gluten free pink wedding cake for you.


Just Married bicycles for you and Ken, knowing that Ken likes cycling.

And balloons - well what's a virtual celebration without virtual balloons?

Wishing you both a wonderful day, honeymoon, celebration lunch and marriage.

xrachel

Mothering Sunday

'Mrs Sedley, you may be sure, clasped her daughter to her heart with all maternal eagerness and affection, running out of the door...to welcome the weeping, trembling young bride... How the floodgates were opened, and mother and daughter wept, when they were together embracing each other...may be readily imagined by every reader who posesses the least sentimental turn. When don't ladies weep? At what occasion of joy, sorrow, or other business of life? and, after such an event as a marriage, mother and daughter were surely at a liberty to give way to sensibility which is as tender as it is refreshing...Good mothers are married over again at their daughters' weddings: and as for subsequent events, who does not know how ultra-maternal grandmothers are? ... Let us respect Amelia and her mama whispering and whimpering and laughing and crying in the parlour and the twilight. 'William Makepeace Thackeray Vanity Fair. pretty little flower

For all our mothers and grandmothers x

Sense and Sensibility

This is the first Austen I've re read whilst blogging. Looking at my book of quotations I've only one Jane Austen quote stored away. But still. I was looking for beautiful words about the countryside, frippery sentences about clothes, great lines about familiar London places. But no. What seemed like endless comments on how much money someone has.

What I did pick out were the great exclamations made by Mrs Jennings

"Oh! Colonel," said she, with her usual noisy cheerfulness, "I am monstrous glad to see you."

or thoughts by Marianne
'...and she was wildly urgent to be gone."

Their brother Mr John Dashwood
"She has borne it all with the fortitude of an angel!"

Miss Steele, her third 'la!' in one page
"La! if you have not got your best spotted muslin on!"

And then Miss Austen slams in a passage like this....

"We think now" -said Mr. Dashwood, after a short pause, "of Robert's marrying Miss Morton."
Elinor, smiling at the grave and decisive importance of her brother's tome. calmly replied,
"The lady, I suppose, has no choice in the affair."
"Choice! -how do you mean?"-
"I only mean, that I suppose from your manner of speaking, it must be the same to Miss Morton whether she marry Edward or Robert."

"Certainly, there can be no difference; for Robert will now to all intents and purposes be considered as the eldest son;- and as to anything else, they are both very agreeable young men..."

And to my twenty first century mind that truly is monstrous.

Just Talking

I'm getting ready for Persephone Reading Weekend hosted by Verity and Clare and was reminded of this quote. It seems fitting as Warmth and I both have the week off work to spend together in London.

'But - but if you can get so interested in a conversation with someone you're in love with that you forget about wanting to kiss them, then - well then it looks as if you're safe to go ahead...
She thought of the dozens of married couples she knew, who were apparently quite happy... but who never seemed to want to be alone together. Society was made up of people like that, she thought; people who had to run around and go to parties and be constantly surrounded by other people; couples who, if they were alone, would even turn the wireless rather than face the prospect of just talking. And yet life was not long enough, no time could be too long, to talk to someone whose mind answered your mind, so that conversation was like a double set of thoughts, carrying each other along indefinately...
I don't mean that a perfect marriage consists of endless conversations! I only meant that the thought of endless conversation wouldn't be a sort of bugbear. And, of course, one would want to run around and do things with other people sometimes. But the best part of the party would be the drive home!'
Jocelyn Playfair A House in the Country

talking

We went to a great party on Saturday night and yes - the best part of it was travelling home together - discussing the evening.

What is a Marriage?

"What is a marriage? Words. A commitment. We pledge ourselves to someone else. It is probably the most significant commitment any of us can make, and it depends on our moral determination to honour it. A declaration of marriage does not mean: 'We are man and wife so long as we find each other attractive or compatible; so long as we feel passion for each other; so long as we don;t meet someone more attractive.' It means 'I will be woth you whatever faith brings. I will stay loyal to you. When you need me, I'll be there. When things are tough, I won't walk away.' A marriage can begin in attraction, shared interests or common destiny, but by moralizing the bond it lifts it to an altogether different plane. A personal commitment is stronger than passion, emotion or attraction. It is a pledge to spend a life together, come what may." Chief Rabbi Jonathon Sacks Celebrating Life

Alternative Wedding Flower Love

peony love
stem vase love

floral tin can love

Hope you've enjoyed this week.

So I am married

'So I am married, whatever that means. I think it means that now I know.'
Anne Enright 'Pale hands I loved, beside the shalimar' in Yesterday's Weather.

@

I'd saved this quote pre engagement but knowing we probably were going to marry and it spoke to me. It felt appropriate to post it today. I like the ambiguity of it - what does it mean I now know?

Believing

So this time last year I journeyed off by myself to collect my wedding dress. I didn't realise how emotional it would be. Walking out of the shop carrying my dress - I was about to get married. Wow. This was so right. I realised that I'd always hoped to marry but I'm not sure I let myself believe I would. There's a limit to how many times friends can say 'Of course you'll meet someone' and then you don't, and then you do but it doesn't last, and then you don't and then you do - and this time it grows and lasts and you're about to be walking down the aisle to the man you love.

'She had never really believed that it would work out happily; she had hoped, but she had not believed.' Sebastian Faulks Charlotte Gray

@

The Crucible

Having been to see The Crucible at Regent's Park Open Air Theatre for my birthday I've been mulling over what to write about it....
There was no stand out line for me but lots of thoughts. Thoughts about how John and Elizabeth Proctor's relationship is portrayed and developed throughout. Amidst all the chaos I found that touching, reaffirming about love.

It's the final scene where John Proctor is being asked to sign his name to his confession that really stayed with me and had me pondering.

'Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life!... How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!' Arthur Miller

I've willingly, happily chosen to change my name since getting married. Yet it is strange. My passport isn't changed (yet) and it felt strange booking in on holiday under two different names. Yet.... my birthday cards arrived with Mrs T. on them. Who is this woman? At work I tend to just use my christian name when introducing myself. I don't want the fuss. It also feels strange introducing myself as Mrs T. But the place it seems strangest is the place I least expected it. I've always written my name and the date I read the book in the inside cover (there's a whole other post about why). To write my maiden name seems wrong - but somehow to write my new surname isn't me either. So for this year I've just written my christian name. I think it seems strangest here because it's such a personal relationship with books - they're inside your mind your soul and that hasn't changed one bit.

image unknown

Another unfinished thought but...

What are your thoughts? Your experiences?

A House of Stone

In the village where I was born, we wish
A house of stone to shelter the heart of a marriage
So here too, I wish you
Obstinate, strong love, unyielding and unending.
May you be in reach of each other when all seems lost,
May your tears and your smiles happen always face to face.
When you imagine that you have shared everything
May you know that you still have the rest of your lives
To do it all again and again.
But now listen to the hurry of bells and
Look how the petals of roses about the vineyard
Bring you words of husband and wife:
First words in your house of stone.
Carmen Bugan

@

I love the inclusion of wishing the couple a home and including the wedding ceremony in the poem. My favourite line is 'obstinate, strong love, unyielding and unending'.

This matter of parenthood

Sorry, this is long but I hope you think it's worth it.
'...we approach this matter of parenthood with a kind of fascinated reluctance. In a way the idea certainly attracts us, and though we resent it being put in that way, we have every intention of ultimately doing our duty... But not just yet, if you see what we mean. For after something like a quarter of a century when we have incessantly wanted it to be next week, we have suddenly reached a stage where all this impatience has left us. We want Time to stand still now; we have found what we have been looking for, and intuition tells us to avoid any experiment which will so inevitably start him off again. We have an impression, too, that everyone is watching us; that they are expecting us to have a baby, and that they won't leave us alone until we do. This puts our backs up. What has it got to do, we ask, with anyone except ourselves? We know perfectly well what we're up to, and we're not going to be hustled by any amounts of hints or questions. It is, we repeat, entirely our own affair.' Denis Mackail Greenery Street

Oh how true this is - and will it ever change? Will we ever stop trying to hurry life on for others? We meet someone and it's 'Is this the one?' We stay together and we're asked 'When will you get married?' I couldn't believe how soon after the wedding the question of 'children' is asked. And then I guess when you have one child you're asked about others. What will be will be.

And there ends Persephone quotes. I'm looking forward to next year already.

First, magical year

'Meanwhile it is the first, magical year. Everyday, every hour almost has its separate thrill. Everything is new, everything is exciting, and every excitement is doubled by the fact it is shared.' Denis Mackail Greenery Street

source unknown

xxx

Perceptions

source
One of my lovely hen gifts was Greenery Street by Denis Mackail. About a couples first year of marriage. So to get us in the mood some images of 1920's inspired wedding style...

source

I read it on honeymoon and it really was a reading a book at the right time in your life. Being on honeymoon thinking 'Can people see we're newly married? On our honeymoon?' and then I read this....

'I wonder if I shall ever feel as married as she looks.' Denis Mackail Greenery Street

and it summed up how I felt...

Persephone Reading Week

So along at The B Files and Paperback Reader a Persephone Reading Week has been organised. The book I've chosen is Lady Rose and Mrs Memmary by Ruby Ferguson. I've planned a week of Persephone quotes, a little like Nancy Mitford Week in February, in this little blog space.
The quotes are in the order which I read the books. My first thought.
My first Persephone book was, like many others before me, 'Miss Pettigrew Lives for the Day' which I did love and have enjoyed re-reading, (it's one of my go-to books when I'm ill.) However, I have no favourite passages to share from it. Do you find that happens you can love a book but no passages speak out and sometimes don't really enjoy the story but lots of passages speak to you?
The order of the quotes, even though across two books (Mariana and Greenery Street) just happen to make a story. A story of hoping to meet love, then meeting love, then the first flush of marriage and then the thought of what your joint future holds together - will you grow as a unit?
Anyway enough of me onto the quotes.

Endpaper from Lady Rose and Mrs Memmary

Mothering Sunday

'I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished and good; to be admired, loved and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. ' Louisa May Alcott Little Women
I'm not a mother but my mother has two daughters. I'm not sure what her wishes were for us when she first held us in her arms. Did she hope we'd be beautiful? I think probably 'admired, loved and respected.' I thank my parents for our happy youth. I know she wished us to be wisely married and for me that was a wish she waited a long time for. In fact I often think that she worried about me meeting the right man far more than I ever did. But then she didn't know about the possibilities that filled my daydreams, I just shared the tears when those hopes were over. And now she can relax. And thankfully the sorrow we've shared as a family and with friends.
With love this Mothers' Day x